Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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