Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
