She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All I want is dick and wine.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
