I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
please come you make the beer taste better
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
