can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
