my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
