is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize