I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He did a backflip because drugs
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
