You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
