Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
