I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
