i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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