trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
