Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
