eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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