i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
