Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
