We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
