just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
