At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
