I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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