he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
