then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
