It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
