Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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