i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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