Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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