I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
