i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
