I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
as a side note pls kill me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
