he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
