I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
