Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
