Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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