Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just invented taco cereal.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
