Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
