He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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