i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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