Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
