How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
