You made me cry and you don't even care
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
