They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
