On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
