LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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