I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just pee around me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
