I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
