I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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