Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
the day after is always just damage control
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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