the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
