it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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