I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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