Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize