I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
