Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
