I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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