the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
