I wish I could punch you in the face.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
